Skrying and Bill Gates

Tonight I attempted a very special meditation. First I printed off a fairly normal photograph of the ever smug looking "philanthropist" Bill Gates. Next I pinned it onto my wall in full view, sat down in full lotus position, lit a candle, said some magick words, and then stared.

I stared at Bill, unblinking. At first, there was nothing. My eyes began to tire but I persevered. Within a few minutes I noticed the flashing afterimage forming around his profile. Success! Closing my eyes, I focused on this strange, negative-image Bill and watched in silence. The Anti-Bill floated in my minds eye, a strangely coloured creature, shifting and morphing, now rather realistic looking, now a picasso caricature... but still recognisable as the geeky technology monopolist.

Moments later, the face grew, and I floated towards him! I was there! I had entered the astral light and was face to face with the man himself. I ventured forth into conversation with this strange elf:

"Oh Lord of Evil! Hear my words! What's this about you hiding away all the earth's seeds in a big vault in the artic? It sounds like mischief!

"Not a chance, human!" he snorted, plunging his ghastly paw into a bowl of live insects and cramming them into his mouth! "It's a big secret, I'm sworn not to tell so I won't! So naaaah!"

And with that he made the Secret Sign of the Broken Xbox controller at me and banished my astral avatar back into my body.

I woke with a start. Not quite sure what I achieved with all that, having come no closer to the conspiracy. Maybe someone else can enlighten me about this topic?

FAR NORTH

By

Sean Bean

Far North,

Past Leeds, York and Hull,

Where compass don’t work

And you’ll freeze t’yer skull.

Few amenities there,

And brew’s hard to find.

But there’s grub to be ‘ad.

If yer brain’s ‘alf a mind.

Was out sniping fer cockles

When up popped a rabbit,

But it fucked off and gone,

Afore I could grab it.

But nowt could I find,

Just reindeer ‘n’ buzzard.

All antlers ‘n’ feather,

Got stuck in me guzzard.

Me belly was shining,

Me tongue turned to ash

Fer a cat’s cunt-full of ale!

Had to drink me own slash.

I sat frozen and stiff,

No tale for an hero.

Like that poor bugger Jim,

From Bravo Two Zero.

Sideline

And then a radiant beauty glides across his path, singly invisible, ghost-like in faint luminescence and undetected behind heliotropic blinkers, under the radar and pinpoint, faint sadness with expectant hope, no green in her gaze, no Venusian rage, just quiet fancy, small sweet desire closely held; she’s surely a rose of sorts, pale petals on this one maybe, a little tired, expectant, waiting, standing alone against a cold wall, watching this vast and myriad expulsion of longing along foot-sore pathways, the thousand tongued Dragon, eyes drinking the flames, body now close to its heat, for a taste of that holy fire as it lingers in smoke as that lingers in hair, yet ignoring their target: it’s not her but forcefully felt fascination at how they lick and tear, waiting somehow for a moment of respite, the rest, the inward breath or the fatal reload staged before the next volley; “now the click of death…” he thinks, awaiting… a girl-shaped shadow she seems to be, lengthening and curved for an opportunity to steal his hand in hers and turn his head to see her bodily there, white light, subtly shining, still ethereal but in sharp focus, her lines drawn tight now around her frame: shifting across his frequency range as his flickering lamps falter, reverse to vacuum suck… shut down, close, for the eyes to shine without those clouded lenses and see, to fucking SEE for the first time, to see like a sledgehammer into a dark crystal, razor shards: he’s in pieces as she enters and fades away with white flag thrust aloft amidst a rain of soft blossom.

Saviour

I hang

Suspended.

My world stands on its head.

Did I?

Did I choose this?

That choice seems pretty bad...

Sickness and disorientation.

Pain like acid fire and I

Knocked for Doctor

No one home.

No chemicals or medication

Touch this fucker.

Something's wrong.

I'm stretched so far I reach the sky

Lines drawn in sand were crossed this day

Or was I destined for this madness?

Your cards they had it in for me.

For me.

'Cause you knew I'd swallow this shit.

You got me hook and crook and sinker.

A tasty worm this rhetoric

For one for fancies he's a thinker.

A pitfall trap just big enough to hold an ego size of mine.

The noose you offer looks like so much golden rope to greedy sightless eyes.

I swing and swing

Back and forth

To and fro and back again

The blood it spills in ribbons and

My fucking head is caving in and...

Where's this so called light?

Where is your bullshit tunnel and the angels and redemption?

Where's Judgement day and trumpets and The Pearly Teeth or something...

All meaningless.

I knew it.

I knew I had it wrong and yet

I thought I knew myself and you and tried to build a bridge.

But the gulf that yawns between us seems so black and void and dead.

So is this it in all its nothing?

I pushed the boundaries back for this?

This lie this crock this non-nirvana?

This THIS?

Traded ease and comfort for delusion,

Tricks and agony.

Hypnotised myself with visions of sweet hope and unity.

Slowed my breath.

Dissolved the world.

Swallowed all your dogma,

All the potions and the P.R.

Stood the smugness and the tedium

Of grudging patient waiting.

Swallowed all the demons too.

Pandora and her box.

She said she left our hope inside...

It's not there now.

I looked. It's gone.

Another lie.

Another liar.

One more half read arrogant fool.

Another carrot swinging.

Just another dead man swinging when he could be face down in a pool.

Clouds are filling up my mind.

Desire to see but one eye blind!

I nailed myself up good this time.

I've paid the price to jump the line.

Bought the ticket. Broke the ride

High!

Locomotion wrecked and so damn high!

Oh father did this holy vision really hang in front of me?

I saw the fire and reached for it

I swear it wasn't just for me.

This little piece of peace I took

It really took it out of me.

I never meant to eat that wafer so

Call off that hawk that tears at me.

Or let me fall back down again.

I'll shut up and go back to sleep.

No trouble no rebellion and God please no more fucking pain!

So sorry now this sacrificial lamb.

Path of the Mouth

She slips and falls to ruin on her sword

That once in search of wisdom cut her path and sought

Through malarious fetid wisp-lit mires and

Mirages of the mind so keenly wrought.

This airy prison floats on love of mind

And thought. Keen reason lifts its clouded towers

Aloft beyond the Throne of Dirt of those

That roll in ignorance.

But warriors all who fell will tell

Twas by their own hand was fate dealt.

All weapons forged and fought be lain

Upon their wielder's breast when slain.

Repeat! Repeat! Repeat to madness!

Back to darkest blackest darkness.

Repeat repeat and drill that whirling logic senseless.

Spin until you stagger senseless!

Senseless!

Racing heart pounds out relentless

Over here just out of sight

Where something somewhere dimly glows with fluorescent subterranean light.

Flick your switch, to it attend

By that scarlet lantern lit descend

Into Medusa's lair. She's waiting,

Baiting...

Seductive in her writhing there.

Primeval glare in sharp emittance petrifies to stone all thinking

Coiled snake induced to rise again

To bore a well into your spine and drink deep of the gushing pain.

Drink the sap that pulses forth girl!

Take it deeper! Expose the bone!

Erupting in orgasmic quaking

Lightening smiting down the Tower.

Fuck the pain! This plastic pleasure here and now

Is panacea...

...she feels it deeply as it fades

To faint and mist-veiled recollection

Now lost as if it never was.

Now hazy wistful sad reflection.

Distant shores.

Cold dejection.

Echoes. Tremors. Belated pain.

Legs still raised in skyward gesture

Unknowing as to its true measure

Extra-induced inflamation

Pappess points in benediction.

So was it sacred in its end

When you it smote and laid you bare?

Your desires and shames and secret plans

Your constructs and your fantasy?

Clear for those with eyes that see.

Did you wish upon this shattered star?

Upon your own catastrophe?

These holes she holds,

They hold her fast in shifting arid seas of thirst

And lightly grasps that hollow phantom tight

In empty fingers. Voiceless lips so pursed

To teach a stark and silent screaming lesson.

Listen out for its inception.

Sowed as it was just underneath the field

Death waits on Saturn and its malefic yield.

Such sharp uncomforts stir deep waters,

Whose swelling waves reflect the moon

As soundless words and glyphs emflamed

That shift and linger quick

Then glow in fading gloom.

See them sing and shine unheeded.

They could mean so much to you alone.

Rose tinted fetters chained to deepest blackness.

So lost without that hieroglyphic stone.

Did you ever gaze upon your own face from the pool reflected?

Did the dream so clearly seem as real as dreams can dream-like be?

Whose was that light you saw that shone in eyes of countenance unfamiliar

Inside this moment, shimmering out, the suns light centered in the Living Tree?

No telling can cause the mind to grasp

The etheric form of this so leech-like ghast.

Fed fear for fear to breed and feast

Upon us denser beasts. And us?

Still slaking thirst with sand and razor shards

And taste sweet blood ecstatic as it drips

To suckle darkling cygnets at our chests.

(Such mockery!)

No selfless pelicans are we that feed

Our young from self torn wounds upon our breasts.

The Journeyman's Song

When I get home

I'll eat some food

And have an Amazing Wank!

The road's been long

I wish I'd rode

Home in a massive tank!

I'd crush my way

O'er cars and stuff

And laugh at all the twats!

But all I got

Is a bad kebab

And the thought of an Amazing Wank!

Telemetry

Oh how

To find

When I

Can't see

Your light

I'll ride

Telemetry

The fork

It hums

She calls to me

We shine to all in tune

Diverting by distraction

The screaming in the light

I'm delving ever deeper

Wider

Thinner

Out

Inside

I'll sail past your harbour

Just long enough to care

To throw stones at your rockery

And draw you from your lair

See beauty in your snakehead

Reflected mirrored me

Our teeth will kiss

And splinter

We'll pull infinity