Saviour

I hang

Suspended.

My world stands on its head.

Did I?

Did I choose this?

That choice seems pretty bad...

Sickness and disorientation.

Pain like acid fire and I

Knocked for Doctor

No one home.

No chemicals or medication

Touch this fucker.

Something's wrong.

I'm stretched so far I reach the sky

Lines drawn in sand were crossed this day

Or was I destined for this madness?

Your cards they had it in for me.

For me.

'Cause you knew I'd swallow this shit.

You got me hook and crook and sinker.

A tasty worm this rhetoric

For one for fancies he's a thinker.

A pitfall trap just big enough to hold an ego size of mine.

The noose you offer looks like so much golden rope to greedy sightless eyes.

I swing and swing

Back and forth

To and fro and back again

The blood it spills in ribbons and

My fucking head is caving in and...

Where's this so called light?

Where is your bullshit tunnel and the angels and redemption?

Where's Judgement day and trumpets and The Pearly Teeth or something...

All meaningless.

I knew it.

I knew I had it wrong and yet

I thought I knew myself and you and tried to build a bridge.

But the gulf that yawns between us seems so black and void and dead.

So is this it in all its nothing?

I pushed the boundaries back for this?

This lie this crock this non-nirvana?

This THIS?

Traded ease and comfort for delusion,

Tricks and agony.

Hypnotised myself with visions of sweet hope and unity.

Slowed my breath.

Dissolved the world.

Swallowed all your dogma,

All the potions and the P.R.

Stood the smugness and the tedium

Of grudging patient waiting.

Swallowed all the demons too.

Pandora and her box.

She said she left our hope inside...

It's not there now.

I looked. It's gone.

Another lie.

Another liar.

One more half read arrogant fool.

Another carrot swinging.

Just another dead man swinging when he could be face down in a pool.

Clouds are filling up my mind.

Desire to see but one eye blind!

I nailed myself up good this time.

I've paid the price to jump the line.

Bought the ticket. Broke the ride

High!

Locomotion wrecked and so damn high!

Oh father did this holy vision really hang in front of me?

I saw the fire and reached for it

I swear it wasn't just for me.

This little piece of peace I took

It really took it out of me.

I never meant to eat that wafer so

Call off that hawk that tears at me.

Or let me fall back down again.

I'll shut up and go back to sleep.

No trouble no rebellion and God please no more fucking pain!

So sorry now this sacrificial lamb.